My friend Ben got Hello World down to 139 bytes!
Ben is clever: instead of going back to byte 1 (the multiplier) and going from 111 to 32, he skips to byte 3 and goes up to 32:
++++++++[>+++++++++<-]>.<++++[>+++++++<-]>+.<++[>+++<-]>+..+++.++++[>++++++++<-]>.<+++++[>++++++++++<-]>+++++.<<.+++.------.<+++[>---<-]>+.
Brainfuck is an eight-instruction Turing-complete programming language—one of those languages like INTERCAL, Unlambda, and reMorse that are designed to be essentially unusable.
Here's Hello World, as small as I can make it (156 bytes):
++++++++[>+++++++++<-]>.<++++[>+++++++<-]>+.+++++++..+++.<++++++++[>----------<-]>+.<+++++[>++++++++++<-]>+++++.<++++[>++++++<-]>.+++.------.<+++[>---<-]>+.
This question has literally kept me up at night, twisting and turning in confounded agony (agoneeeee!):
What is the plural of Curtis?
More than one Susan are Susans, more than one Sten are Stens, more than one Tane are Tanes (actually, that's not true: in Māori, plurality is [sanely] indicated by the article), and more than one Curtis are... WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS
Really, I'm all ears!
Anyone with or having a problem with religious dogma this may want to check out these two books:
The Power of Myth, by Joseph Campbell. Also available in PBS mini-series format on DVD.
The World's Religions: Our Great Wisdom Traditions, by Huston Smith
The world's major religions all basically say the same thing: love and the Golden Rule is where it's at.
Joseph Campbell put it as something like, "Religions are like lots of different fingers all pointing at the same thing".
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar (not the sitar player) in my opinion puts it best; something like, "All religions have three components: lessons (core intent, whatever you want to call it), rituals, and symbols. The lessons of all of them are the same. So all inter-religion conflict is about rituals and symbols. Kind of silly, huh?".
I agree with this wholheartedly. If you'll bear with me through a weak analogy, let's say that there's a big open field with a beach ball in the middle of it. The beach ball is the common goal of religion. The point is to get from the edge of the field to the beach ball. Imagine someone comes up to you and starts a conversation:
"Hey, I see you're walking towards the beach ball. Let me hep you to something: there's only one way to get there, and I know what it is."
"Hrm, yeah? That's interesting, because it looks like there's this big open field and a pretty much infinite number of paths I could take that would all lead me there. I could start from any point on the perimiter and walk straight to it, zig-zag, do handsprings, go in a spiral on a pogo stick, or any way I can think of and undoubtedly a lot of ways I can't."
"No, no! Listen, man! I know it might look like there are other ways to get there, but it's not true! Only I can get you there! If you try any of these other ways, you will never get to the beach ball and you will get stuck in a very bad place forever! It is called Mayonnaise!"
"Huh? Mayonnaise? All I see is a field and a ball!"
"It's invisible, but it's there. Take my word for it. If you wish to avoid it, you must kneel before this Giant Hairball and do the Platypus Dance while burping the alphabet."
"I don't mean to be rude, but are you high right now?"
"No! You must bow to the Giant Hairball right now, before it is too late! Can you make yourself burp? You're going to have to make some big changes if you're going to learn to burp properly. It is absolutely essential!"
"You sure? What about all of those people near the ball? Did they all bow down before the Giant Hairball and do the Platypus Dance while burping the alphabet, too?"
"I don't recognize them. They have not come this way."
"So there's more than just one path there!"
"No, you idiot! If they're there, they're not at the real beach ball! Only me and my buddies know the way, and that way is the way of the Hairball! I tried to tell the rest of those fuckers, but did they
"Dude, calm down! What's the big deal? They got there, didn't they? Doesn't look like they hurt anybody to get there, does it? And it seems like they're having a pretty good time! Before you and I started talking, I even heard one of them shout, 'Come on it, the water's great!'"
"No, no, no! They look like they're having a good time, but they're not. They are drowning in the eternal viscosity of Mayonnaise! I'm going to let you in on a little secret here, buddy: the only way to get there is to not have any fun at all. If you want at that ball, fun is no longer in your vocabulary."
"But isn't the ball about love and joy?"
"Yeah once you get there, you get to fuck off and bask in the glory of the ultimate chill-out room. It's really cool! If you want to get in, give me your money, your comfy clothes, and your free will and go sit in that building over there on the edge for a few hours every week."
"What? Why would I want to go back to the edge of the field? I've already made my way in a bit. What will I learn there?"
"Dude, you're not hearing me. It doesn't matter if you learn anything or not while you're in there, you just have to show up. And pay, of course."
"But that doesn't make any sense!"
"The Hairball works in mysterious ways. In order to get to the beach ball, you must avoid the beach ball."
"Seriously, man, what are you smoking?"
"How dare you! Here, quick! On your knees! Now take this whip and beat the shit out of yourself!"
"That sounds like one of the last things I want to do. It doesn't look like any of the people around the ball have scars from kicking their own asses... hurting anything at all seems a bit inconsistent with what's going on over there."
"Have you been talking to those damned indifels? Are you actually telling me that you're going to listen to some stupid fuck drowning in the invisible Eternal Viscosity of Mayonnaise??!? THERE IS ONLY ONE PEACE! That is Hairball Brand Peace! There is only one love! Hairball Brand Love! There is only one joy! Hardball Brand Joy! There is only one compassion, you fucking idiot! HAIRBALL BRAND COMPASSION!"
"Whoa, simmer down! You're starting to freak me out here. It doesn't seem like you're full of peace, love, joy, or compassion. When do you get that? And when do you get to have fun and be happy?"
"Not now, that's for sure—hold on a sec, will you? There's some of those Hairsphere motherfuckers. Man, am I gonna put a hurtin' on them! A hurtin' for certain! Hairshpere... It's Hairbball! HairBALL! B-A-L-L, you morons! I hope you drown in Mayonnaise after I kill your asses dead!"
"Dude, that sounds very un-beach ball-like. Why do you want to kill them?"
"Relax, it's OK! It doesn't really matter what you do to them, they can't even burp the alphabet right! You can do shit to them that you wouldn't do to a diseased rat and not feel the least bit bad about it! It's awesome! Come on, let's go kick somebody's ass!"
"Hell no! I'm going to pretend you didn't say that—it sounds pretty sketchy to me... Now how do you know for sure that it's Hairball and not Hairsphere? How do you know it has anything to do with hair at all?"
"Look, it's scribbled on the Bar Napkin."
"The Bar Napkin?"
"Yeah, it's pretty old. This guy who went to the beach ball a long time ago took some notes on the way."
"Oh, neat! These are his notes?"
"No, that guy couldn't write at the time. He hadn't eaten anything for over a month and was pretty out of it. He told this stuff to some friends and their friend's friend's friend's friend's friends wrote it down a few hundred years later. It's been translated a few times, too. And my buddy didn't like some of things in it, so he changed them."
"And you follow this to the letter? Seems like some of the specifics might have gotten lost in the translation—"
"Did I just hear you right? Did you actually question the Bar Napkin? Look, right here! It says Hairball. Not Hairspehere! They got the wrong translation, don't listen to them. Only WE have the right one. They say Hairsphere and when they burp the alphabet, they include all of those wacky extra Swedish letters. They are not to be trusted."
"But they're both round things made of hair. Does it really matter so much?"
"OF COURSE IT DOES! If it's not a ball, you're going to Mayonnaise! Do you know that there are actually people walking around out here that have nothing to do with hair at all??!? If you think Mayonnaise sounds bad, just wait till you hear what's going to happen to them! Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, when you get to have a good time..."
"When?"
"I dunno, later! Just trust me, it'll happen!"
"But the people at the beach ball have those things now!"
"You just don't get it, do you?"
"It kind of sounds like you just want my money and my clothes. And like you don't actually want me anywhere near the beach ball."
"That's it, buddy. I tried... but now you're gonna get it. Prepare for eternal drowning, heathen!"
I would much rather have a conversation like this:
"Hey, bro! Going to the beach ball?"
"Yeah, you?"
"Yeah! Looks pretty cool from here, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, looks great! Which way are you going?"
"I'm going this way here... you?"
"Cool! I'm over here. The way you're going looks neat, how's that working out for you?"
"Pretty good! There are a few little hitches, but I'm trying to avoid them."
"Nice! If you want to compare notes, I'm game! It would be great if we could help each other out along the way."
"Yeah, sweet as! My door's always open!"
"Dittto! See you soon!"
In my opinion, anyone who has the attitude of the conversation starter in the first conversation is not behaving in accord with their religion, they are just borrowing the costume and are not to be confused with the real thing.
Why is it that argyle socks and plaid shirts and boxer shorts are readily available but plaid socks and argyle shirts and boxer shorts seem nonexistant?
What evil lurks in the hearts of those who would deny the world the joy of plaid-clad feet and argyle-swathed loins?
Pablo, John, and I have informal lists of Matrix-style "Red Pills"—knowledge that shows you more about how far the rabbit hole goes, that, once gained, cannot be ignored.
Here's mine:
Ishmael, by Daniel Quinn
Political analysis by Noam Chomsky
Manufacturing Consent is a good place to start.
Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem
Excellent summaries from Miskatonic and Wikipedia, or read Gödel's original paper, On Formally Undecidable Propositions of Principia Mathematica and Related Systems.
Restaurants, please don't package to-go/takeaway orders of acidic foods in aluminum containers!
We don't cook acidic foods in reactive metals (like aluminum) because it creates unpleasant tastes and coloration. The same thing happens when we put that food into reactive containers, and by the time the customer gets the food to wherever it's going, it's pretty well ruined (and science seems to look to unfavorably on ingesting aluminum, anyway).
Obvious foods to avoid packaging in aluminum: tomato (including sauces), vinaigrette (though acidic dressings should be on the side anyway to avoid wilting), fish, citrus, berry sauces.
I just heard a song from my brother's band, The Stalkers. Objectively speaking, they're really good!
Grab a free MP3 of their song "Out In The Rain" from their upcoming release on Dollar Record Records.
I think there are two kinds of spiritual seekers:
"Exploratory" seekers learn&151;often through playful experimentation and exploration&151;what they can from many disciplines taking what they like from each, sometimes looking for a close match with what they believe. Stuart Davis and Joseph Campbell come to mind.
"Desparation" seekers are spiritual serial monogamists ("Ashram hoppers") and immmerse themselves in the practice of the moment with the strict zeal of a convert, half-heartedly going from one thing to the next, looking everywhere except in themselves (which is everything) for something to solve their problems.